When I was a little girl, there was a time when I could pick anything that I wanted. Me, my Mom, my sister usually went to Kris Gallery or Plaza Indonesia (they were some of the hippest malls in early 90s). I remember one day I got an orange Esprit shoes, I was in the 2nd grade of school. I clearly remember the vibrant orange color, the three velcro straps and the white thick sole. The shoes was my ultimate favorite shoes, I wore it everywhere. My early kiddo life was a happy dream of mine. But life is not always a playground.
There was a time when my family was so poor that the relatives were mocking at us. I remember one time in elementary school, when my Mom's friend gave me a pair of Nike shoes. Nike was a big trend at that time. Well, the shoes was not new, it was used but the condition is excellent. I was so happy, I wore it to school on the next day. I remember I was queueing to get into the class. I was a happy little girl with a new shoes until one of the students asked me "is that a new shoes or a second hand shoes?". Then she was laughing with her friends. They were mocking at my shoes. I didn't know how she found out about that the Nike shoes. I didn't know why should she asked me loudly about the shoes. I didn't know why she laugh as if I was telling her a joke. That student then told her friends about my second hand shoes. I felt so humiliated. I didn't give them any response. I kept everything in silence until when I came home, I told my Mom and cried.
Now everything is fine, Alhamdulillah, the economy got better. Every time I think about it, it hurts a little but then I laugh. I laugh because now I wear a lot of second hand outfits and I'm feeling cool about it. Well, you know that the prettiest gems are usually in the stacks at the second hand shop.
All of my past experiences gave me a lot of life lessons. When someone is mocking at you, its not because you have the problem. People loves to throw comments at us, good and bad ones. The bad ones hurt the most, I know. But its how you keep up with the comments. Either you will go home and cry like the little girl version of me or you treat is as nothing and keep on walking. I always remember how my Mom taught me and my sister to never be afraid of anything, never be ashamed of our flaws, and keep on believing in Allah and yourself.
My past had formed me into a personality that cares nothing about negative comments. Well, sometimes it hurts me so bad that caused an overthinking and some tears. But then I walk forward and being careless about the negativity. I show them nothing but proofs that I'm not your target, dear haters. And because I find no excitement in negative comments, I believe in a thought that says "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Life doesn't always go in my way. If I don't like what's on my left, then I look on the other sides. Life is simple, so we shouldn't make it complicated :)